But I Never Win Anything

Years ago, I read the Wheel of Time series. One of the characters in it, Mat, is lucky. Like that's his thing. He either gets really good luck or really bad luck, and he just roles with it.

It's kind of an interesting thought, that luck is a thing you have or don't have. I used to consider cherry-on-top-luck through the lens of, I don't win stuff. I've never had my name drawn for a raffle. I haven't ever been picked out of a hat for anything. In fact, when I see a chance to win something, just write your name on this ticket and put it in this container, ma'am, type thing, I just keep walking.

Which brings me to my story. A few friends were going to a local music festival, and they asked if I wanted to go. They were making a whole weekend of it, camping and spending three days at the event, but I saw that I could buy a day pass for Friday, which was one of the cheapest pass options. I decided to go for Friday.

I showed up to the festival and wandered to the ticket stand. I found myself waiting behind a woman probably in her fifties, or perhaps she was in her forties and just suffering the effects of never using sunscreen. Whatever the case, the woman had her phone out and was shoving it in the ticket lady's face.

"I am with (some radio station). I'm here to cover the event."

The ticket lady looked at the phone. "Okay."

"Seems real disorganized," the apparent radio rep, said.

"Oh, it's fine."

"You need more help," the radio lady said.

"I think I'm doing okay," the ticket lady said.

"You have a long line!" the radio lady said.

The line was her and me.

"I think it'll be okay," the ticket woman said.

"I think they need to get you more assistance."

What struck me about this conversation was that I think the radio lady was trying to be nice to the ticket woman, but the ticket woman clearly took the comments as a negative reflection on her coworkers or the festival, which she clearly seemed proud of.

The ticket woman got the radio lady a three day bracelet, and the radio lady stalked off. The ticket lady turned to me, and I learned it was five dollars cheaper to buy the ticket online. The woman told me I could buy it through my phone while standing at the counter and then she'd give me my wrist band.

While I navigated the website. The ticket lady started to talk to me.

"That lady was kinda weird, didn't you think?"

I was trying to remember my CVV code for my credit card.

"Yeah," I said, only sort of paying attention. "She seemed upset."

"It was weird. I was trying to help her..."

"Oh," I said, internally delighted that I had in fact remembered the code and did not have to actually pull out my credit card. "That was a her issue. Not a you issue. You were being really nice."

We continued to talk, but I was still working through the online purchase. Once I was done I turned my phone to her and asked her if that would work.

"It does! Where are you from?" she asked.

I told her, and she said she lived pretty close to me.

"Would you... come back, if you had a pass for more days?" she asked.

And I started to respond then stopped. I hadn't been planning on it, but it was only a 25 minute drive from my house.

"I guess? I hadn't considered it."

"Well, you should. Here's a three day pass. You were nice to me, and I appreciate that."

And she pulled out a royal blue wrist band and snapped it onto my wrist.

"Whoa. Thanks," I said, truly stunned, as I hadn't really been paying attention to what she and the other woman had been talking about, nor had I really been paying attention to her while I was trying to buy the pass on my phone.

And so I went to the festival that day, and then next day, and it was really fun.

While I was at the festival, I walked by a booth with an overflowing box of names, all hoping to win some prize, and I walked by it, thinking, I don't ever win stuff.

But I had won. I had one a multi-day pass for the simple action of not being a tangential jerk. And that made me wonder, do we make our own luck?

In some ways no. I mean, being born with two X chromosomes in a country that lets girls go to school had nothing to do with anything I did. It was just a roll of the dice.

But the idea that my actions shape my own luck... That's a deeper level of luck than winning a free massage from a raffle box. That's more important and more affecting. The idea of doing the right thing, of being a force of kindness, of not adding to the constant negativity.... Well, it's not an unheard of idea. But the affects of putting those concepts in practice so they happened while I was on autopilot was viscerally apparent with every bonus minute I spent at that festival.

It made me think of this spring when I got to see Amanda Gorman speak. She was asked the question, "How do you maintain hope in today's world?" And Ms. Gorman said, "I make my own hope."

And that sounds silly. But it's true. You can make your own hope. You can make your own luck. And you never know when the practice of that will result in you getting to spend an extra, beautiful summer day listening to music with your friends.

Be the force you want to see in the world. How that manifests will surprise you when you least expect it.