Different Worlds
Recently, I went to the grocery store. Clouds hung low in the sky, and they matched the very low ceiling of the store. Everyone I saw looked like all they wanted to be doing was lying down under a blanket, and frankly, I'm sure I matched the energy.
At one point I ended up maneuvering my cart around a woman wearing Christmas colored pajama pants and a big hoodie. Looking at her, I saw she was a sort of bad Xerox of Lauren Bobert. Like, not exactly Bobert, but if looked like at the right angle, she could be her sister. Same styled hair. Same glasses, same general facial structure.
Later, I ended up behind her. Her professionally silk screened hoodie had writing on the back. It said:
I would drop kick a child for a DOCTOR PEPPER.
And I was like, okay. Lady loves Doctor Pepper, hates children, and maybe, just maybe, this actually is Lauren Bobert.
When I went home a friend messaged me. He said:
I went to the farmers market today.
He lived in California, and going to the farmer's market in the dead of winter was a thing for him.
I messaged him what I saw while in the canned goods aisle. He replied:
I saw Gavin Newsom getting a coffee at the farmer's market.
I once ended up at a random parking area in the middle of a forest fire with Gavin Newsom. He had so much hair product in he was wearing a helmet of his own hair, but he was very nice to me.
I wondered if Gavin Newsom would drop kick a child for a Doctor Pepper. I figured probably not. In fact, I bet he bought a very fancy coffee and paid in cash not kicks. I wondered if there was a beverage that would make Gavin Newsom drop kick a child. And I wondered what kind of coffee the Lauren Bobert copy would order in a California farmer's market.
And then I realized, that Lauren Bobert 2.0 would probably never set foot in a California farmer's market, and I had a really hard time imagining Gavin Newsom so dedicated to a soda brand he started assaulting minors. He probably doesn't drink soda. Maybe has a bill on deck banning it.
Same country, different world. #2025