No, I'm Just Hungry

A while back, several friends came to visit me. I was in California at the time, and when they rolled in, one of the things they wanted to do was eat an It's-It. For those of you who don't know what an It's-It is, it's a San Francisco Tradition! And for those of you who don't know what that means, it's two oatmeal cookies with ice cream between them, all of it dipped in chocolate.

The things are beefy. A lot of ice cream, a lot of cookie, and not always in proportions I prefer. I had never had one prior to living in California, and when I was in California, we used to eat them after particularly heinous work days. I hadn't thought of them in years until my friend decided they wanted one.

But, as I said, I was never fully onboard with an It's-It unless I had been doing something pretty awful. And the day they were in town, we did a pleasant uphill hike, but I wasn't worked enough to need an It's-It. Despite this, my friend bought an It's-It for another friend, a cappuccino flavor, which I had never had before. My other friend felt pretty similar about It's-Its as I did–a lot of cookie and ice cream, and it was all a little too much.

He left the cappuccino It's-It in my freezer.

A few weeks later, my husband opened the freezer and saw the abandoned It's-It. He thought about eating it but decided against it.

Then a few weeks later, I woke up one morning and decided I was going to run a trail system that connected to the location I was staying. I didn't know how long the trail system was, but I wanted to see if I could run the whole loop.

It turned out, with only a minor mix up at one point, the loop was 24.5 miles. And I could run it. And I did. And when I got back to my house, I was in serious need of calories.

I lay on the couch, knowing I was going to seriously pay if I didn't eat something, but I was so wrung out. How on Earth was I supposed to get food? Then I remembered, the It's-It!

I scraped myself off the couch and pulled open the freezer. There, on the bottom shelf, shining like a beacon of hope and light, was the cappuccino It's-It. Carbs, fat, calories, and caffeine, everything a long distance runner in serious need of food could need.

It was the absolute best thing I've ever eaten. I housed that It's-It and then was able to think again. A barbecue was happening in my neighborhood, and powered by the It's-It, I shuffled to the barbecue and got myself a bratwurst. Then I got a hamburger, which I realized was actually a veggie burger, so I put an actual beef patty on top of the veggie patty. Someone looked at me.

"Are you a vegetarian?" they asked.

"No," I said, taking a bite. "I'm just hungry."

But thanks to that It's-It, I wasn't collapsed on the couch, my body eating itself because I was too hungry to get up and eat something. I was scarfing down free food and mixing vegetarian and meat options like a heathen.

That It's-It saved me. Thank you to everyone who failed to eat it. You all are the heroes of the hour.

And, thank you to the cappuccino It's-It, in all of your too much ice cream, too much cookie glory. You are the perfect post-long run snack. May you always be found, abandoned in a a freezer, by the bedraggled adventurer in their last moments before critical calorie collapse.