Safety... You Wouldn't Understand

Safety... You Wouldn't Understand

I once worked at this place that was in this soul sucking building. It was colorless, characterless, cheaply made, and generally chitty (sorry, I couldn't stop the alteration).

Anyway, when I first got there, it was a bit of a shock to the system. I was learning a new job, and there were some wild personalities involved, as well as a very non-functional overarching system, and I was overwhelmed and feeling a little helpless.

One of the personalities I was dealing with was a guy who was reportedly in charge of safety. From what I could tell, it was a cush job he was riding into retirement, but I was told I just didn't understand the complexities of the job.

Whatever, I didn't understand the complexities of my own job, so I just went back staying in my own lane and forgot about it.

Then one day, I went into the break room and in the corner of the room, I saw a slice of green. On top of the microwave, someone had put a green folder.

I was immediately intrigued. It was the most colorful object in the building, other than my non-regulation socks. I immediately opened it.

Inside the folder was a print out from Google.

It was titled:

How to Cook a Frozen Turkey To Temperature in the Microwave

It had a photo of an ENTIRE fucking turkey inside a microwave.


Convince me that wasn't a cush job.