Scare Quotes Are Scary

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of scare quotes is:

Quotation marks used around a word or phrase when they are not required, thereby eliciting attention or doubts.

My husband is particularly sensitive to scare quotes. There was a time in our life when we used to drive past the town of Lone Pine fairly often. Outside of the town, on the highway, there is a sign that says, Lone Pine "says" howdy!

This made my husband insane. Every time we saw it, he would ask why "says" was in quotes. We finally figured that Lone Pine must be fairly literal town, and since a town can't actually say anything, the powers that be decided the scare quotes were needed. It also seems to be a generational thing. The Reddit thread about why "older people" put things in scare quotes is somewhat informative but it's mostly just Millennials and Boomers trading barbs about everything from cursive to dad jokes.

Either way, most people seem to agree that when people put things in "scare quotes" it's usually done for emphasis, but really it just comes off as cringy.

One day, my husband and I were trying to find somewhere to eat in our little town. We walked past a restaurant that was closed. My husband didn't pay the restaurant any attention. I on the other hand, glanced at the door and saw a single orange piece of paper taped to it. It said one thing.

"HIRING"

I hit my husband in the arm.

"Look at that," I said, knowing he would not appreciate the scare quotes.

He looked at the sign but didn't see the quotes. Finally, I said, "The quotes."

His eyes went wide.

He turned to me, and making air quotes, he yelled, "HIRING. They're eating you in there. That's not a job interview, it's a date with a cannibal. They've got a basement in that place."

My husband is not a quiet person, but it was Sunday in an extremely religious area. No one was around.

"HIRING," he said, resuming walking at a fast pace. "I doubt it."

And I think this moment proved that Dictionary.com spits truth. Those quotes both captured our attention AND cast doubt on what the sign was supposedly saying.

Did they really need help? Or were they actually eating people? I knew two people who wouldn't be finding out. Maybe its a generational thing, or maybe it's survival instinct. Whatever the case, we wouldn't be applying.