The Difference Between You And Me

The difference between you and me is that you will ask me where [insert missing object name here] is. I will tell you it's in the bag you're holding.

The difference between you and me is that when I get a flat bike tire, I'll tell you it's broken, you'll tell me it's fixable. I will mess up fixing it, and you will fix it with your eyes closed.

The difference between you and me is that I buy things based off their color. You buy things based off their function.

The difference between you and me is that I could fill this house with cats. You claim the two cats we have are too many.

The difference between you and me is that I love buying you presents. You don't understand presents.

The difference between you and me is that what you consider YouTube algorithm pollution is actually fine music.

The difference between you and me is that grey is not a color.

The difference between you and me is that you can't sit in the driver seat after me, but I fit in an airplane seat better.

The difference between you and me is that you aren't allowed to turn down the heat in the car without my verbal permission and I'm not allowed to turn up the heat without your verbal permission.

The difference between you and me is that you feel joy at the slanty light of fall and I feel an oncoming existential crisis.

The difference between you and me is that I feel popcorn is an acceptable dinner, and you don't consider popcorn a food item with nutritional value.

The difference between you and me is probably the reason we make a good team.