Your Beautiful Wife Wants Some of Your Food

One day, not long after I moved to a new town, one of my friends told me that the Thai place by her house was good. So, my husband and I decided to try it. We went at a bit of a weird hour and were the only people in the restaurant, other than the owner, a woman who could have been thirty or sixty, but thanks to being Asian, no one would really know. Except I knew. This lady was not some young upstart. She had a lot of life experience, which was probably how she was running a successful restaurant in a very white, conservative area.

We ordered, our food came, and while I was very excited about my own dish, I also wanted to try my husband's. It looked good.

"Can I try yours?" I asked.

He pulled his plate closer to him. "No. Order your own if you want some."

I opened my mouth to say something, but the sound I heard was not my voice.

"YOU ARE A BAD HUSBAND. YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE WANTS SOME FOOD AND YOU DON'T SHARE? YOU SHOULD SHARE."

The owner stood behind the register and was absolutely yelling across the restaurant, directly at my husband. Momentarily, I was shocked, and then I began to laugh. My husband looked like someone had hit the pause button on his life, and he sat, fork suspended between his plate and his mouth, eyes wide.

I reached across the table and tugged his plate closer to me.

"Your beautiful wife wants some of your food," I said, spearing some noodles onto my fork.

I ate my bite, my husband still frozen in place, and remarked the food was good. The owner watched my husband like a cat who might just have to give him another quick bap, bap if he remained uncompliant. Then, my husband pushed his plate a little closer to me. I took another bite.

"That's right," the owner said.

She leveled a final withering glare at him and then disappeared into the kitchen. My husband checked to make sure she really was gone then leaned into me.

"Why is the matriarchy so strong in here?" he whispered.

I ate another bite of his food.

"Don't know. But I love it. We're leaving her a huge tip," I said.

And now, out of all the Thai places in a multi-town radius, hers is the only one I go to.

Long live the matriarchy.